Yet you want to be sightless..

“’ No. There is something final about this. And, Gudrun seems like the end, to me. I don’t know - but she seems so soft, her skin like silk, her arms heavy and soft. And it withers my consciousness, somehow, it burns the pith of my mind.’ He went on a few paces, staring ahead, his eyes fixed, looking like a mask used in ghastly religions of the barbarians. ‘It blasts your soul’s eye,’ he said, ‘and leaves you sightless. Yet you want to be sightless, you want to be blasted, you don’t want it any different.’ He was speaking as if in a trance, verbal and blank. Then suddenly he braced himself up with a kind of rhapsody, and looked at Birkin with vindictive, cowed eyes, saying: ‘Do you know what it is to suffer when you are with a woman? She’s so beautiful, so perfect, you find her so good, it tears you like a silk, and every stroke and bit cuts hot - ha, that perfection, when you blast yourself, you blast yourself! And then -’ he stopped on the snow and suddenly opened his clenched hands - ‘it’s nothing - your brain might have gone charred as rags-and-’ he looked round into the air with a queer histrionic movement - ‘it’s blasting - you understand what I mean - it’s a great experience, something final - and then you’re shrivelled as if struck by electricity.’ He walked on in silence. It seemed like bragging, but like a man in extremity bragging truthfully.”

- Gerald Crich
Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence